The League of Beautiful Intimates
God doesn’t have
favourites but he has intimates. I have seen this to be true in my life. After
struggling to find the pencil that all along was on my ear for such a long
time, I came to learn that every man who desires to live a life of fulfilment
with a godly, loving, romantic and mature woman (the whole package) should have
his ultimate pursuit on Christ and not on the woman.
Wise Solomon writes
in Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains
favour form the Lord.”(NKJV). It dawns on me the important use of the verb
“find” in this promise. When reading it at face value, I took find to mean
seek. How far from the truth I was. Find was find. When I accepted find to be find, I perceived that find is
associated with discovering something in a common location with the “found
item”. The finder and the found were in the same place for the action “find” to
take place. The finder cannot find if the found is not in the same location.
It brings me to
deduce that for both the finder (man) and the found (woman), for the
establishment of a godly centred relationship that leads to marriage, the two
must be in the same location. Question is, where is that location? Do I mean
the same restaurant, diner or movie hall? Absolutely not. The location here is
nothing created by human effort or pure coincidence. The location here is a
place where both the found and finder have intentionally chosen to be. It is a
place where Proverbs 18:22 can be actualized i.e. obtaining favour from the
Lord. The only place we obtain favour from the Lord is in the presence of the
Lord beloved because his word tells us.
Psalm 31:19
“How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear
you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.”
You see the
requirement and prerequisite of obtaining a good thing is being in the refuge
of the Lord. If finding a wife is a good thing, then it means, I have to be in
the refuge of the Lord. The refuge of the Lord is not a statement of an outside
everyday place beloved. It is an intimate place. And those found there receive
favour not based on favouritism but on intimacy. God does not have favourites
(Romans 2:11), but he has intimates.
If the finder is in the presence of the Lord
then the found will be found if she
is in the same location. The presence of the Lord beloved is not a physical place you can catch a taxi to.
The presence of the Lord resides in the hearts of men. It exists on the basis
of a man or woman not just having a basic relationship with Jesus but a very
intimate relationship with Him. God does not have favourites but he has
intimates.
Once an intimate person resides in the place of God they will locate another intimate person, because the intimate circle of God is the one that’s closest to him. It makes sense that the deeper in the circle of God’s intimacy we go, the closer we will be with those in the same circle. If a man independently is intimate with Christ he will find a similar woman one day when he is busy just being intimate in God’s arena of love. He will find her and I assure you she is wife material. Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and she is beautiful, the very epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. After all, the Bible does not say “He who finds a girlfriend/fiancée finds a good thing.” It says a wife. A wife is a relationship to last till death do you part. The things of God are made to last beloved. For that reason I compel that the relationships we form with the opposite sex should not be “just for fun.” They should one day mature from girlfriend and boyfriend. There’s nothing that’s just for fun in the economy and will of God. God is declaring here that when the finder finds the found it is a wife he has found i.e. it is a relationship that is in the marriage category. Marriage is a blessing and a favour from God. Proverbs 18:22 is actualized in this sense.
Once an intimate person resides in the place of God they will locate another intimate person, because the intimate circle of God is the one that’s closest to him. It makes sense that the deeper in the circle of God’s intimacy we go, the closer we will be with those in the same circle. If a man independently is intimate with Christ he will find a similar woman one day when he is busy just being intimate in God’s arena of love. He will find her and I assure you she is wife material. Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and she is beautiful, the very epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. After all, the Bible does not say “He who finds a girlfriend/fiancée finds a good thing.” It says a wife. A wife is a relationship to last till death do you part. The things of God are made to last beloved. For that reason I compel that the relationships we form with the opposite sex should not be “just for fun.” They should one day mature from girlfriend and boyfriend. There’s nothing that’s just for fun in the economy and will of God. God is declaring here that when the finder finds the found it is a wife he has found i.e. it is a relationship that is in the marriage category. Marriage is a blessing and a favour from God. Proverbs 18:22 is actualized in this sense.
Our most
passionate and most true pursuit should be an intimacy with God. When that is
in place, the man will pursue the woman within the circle of intimacy. It is
here that I strongly believe strong friendships are birthed. It is here I
believe that courageous, considerate and romantic men are brought out. And when
she pursues Godliness and the person of Jesus Christ daily, diligently and
faithfully, she too falls in the circle of intimates. In this circle, humility
to accept correction, brokenness, forgiveness when wronged and sacrificing love
are cultivated.
Pursue God
beloved. Pursue him to the ends of the earth. I have come to realize that there is nothing that’s as attractive as
a lady whose heart is in God. And not just in God but diligently and deeply in
Christ Jesus. So deep it is that if a man desires it, he has to be in the same
place, in the same circle. He has to find it. Settling for one who is plainly
just in God is equally as disastrous as one who is not in God in the first
place. Ladies, keep it there,
don’t remove it out of the intimate circle for a guy who is not willing to step
into the circle. His words will fade as day changes to night. Guys, pursue the
intimate circle. And when you get there, don’t be fooled by the outward
physical appearance of girls whose hearts are not in the circle. And finally
for both ladies and men, don’t fool yourself that you can bring somebody into
the circle. The circle of intimacy is an individual, independent choice. To
passionately pursue Jesus Christ is a diligent intentional effort. You may take
him to church ladies; he will not get to the circle much less change. You may try
taking her to your fellowship guys and she will just lead you astray in a
matter of time. The circle has the most beautiful people. Stop worrying and
focus on the one who bestows favour not on favourites but on intimates. Christ
is present and prominent in many. But he is only pre-eminent in those intimate
with him. Daily, diligently and faithfully pursue Him.